Struggling... yet again

Having such a hard time.  I called my prospective hospice employer.  Yet again, they have not "made their decisions."  So now, if they did hire me, I wouldn't start until May.  Enough is enough.  Each and every day my current job gets more and more difficult.  I almost can't hardly look at my patient... it is so painful.  It is taking EVERYTHING, and I mean everything, inside of me just to make it through the day.  I am exhausted.  Its hard enough to go on about life without Ashlie, but my job is making it almost seem unbearable.  Please keep my in your prayers.  I need the strength.  God be with all of you.  Ashlie... I wish you were here.
TaTa4Now