Listening to the Music for Ashlie's Services

This morning, as I await my grandbabies arriving, I am listening to the music we chose for Ashlie's services.  Words can not express how much it means to me that my oldest daughter was able to help me find those songs.  I feel as if those songs were written just for us!  They are truly beautiful songs.  It just isn't fair that she had to leave us so early.  She had such a terrible start in life.  We just wanted to make life better for her... and just wanted her to know that she was loved... no matter what.  Maybe I should share these song titles with you, perhaps they could bring you some comfort also.  Here they are:
"I Can Only Imagine" by MercyMe (Contemporary Christian)
"Angels Among Us" by Alabama (Country)
"Only Time" by Enya (New Age)
"Fly" by Celine Dion (Pop)
"In the Arms of an Angel" by Celtic Woman (?)
"One Sweet Day" by Maria Carey (R & B/Soul)
"Holes in the Floor of Heaven" by Steve Wariner (Country)
"Wind Beneath my Wings" by Bette Midler (?)
"Sissy's Song" by Alan Jackson (Country)
"I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston (Pop)
"My Heart Will Go On" by James Horner from "Titanic" movie (Pop)
During her visitation, we played all of them in the background.  At her funeral service, we played the first four, in that order.
Ashlie, you sure were and still are loved and you are greatly, deeply missed.  Your beautiful smile touched many people.  It is impossible to forget.  Keep the rain coming for that tree the school planted!
TaTa4Now

What an Amazing Day!

Today was Ashlie's Memorial Service at her school.  It went perfectly.  Although we had been having some thunderstorms and heavy rain, we just had a slight sprinkle during the service.  The school had planted a dogwood tree, donated by Masonic Lodge #19; planted pansies around it with a border; her physical therapist brought a beautiful flat faced rock; and the school nurse had a plaque made stating "In Memory of Ashlie Danielle ***** 2004 - 2011" and it was attached to the rock.  We also provided brightly colored balloons to each student in her classes, the staff, and for family.  At the count of three, they were released... the children giggled with delight and yelled "Yay Ashlie!  Yay Ashlie!"  It was perfect.  We stood watching them dance in the wind heading East, then they turned and headed South, which is the direction in which she is buried.  They also presented us with a birdhouse.  When some of the school staff visited our home after Ashlie passed away, they noticed all of my birds and birdhouses.  On the birdhouse, was every child's name and staff's names.  There were two of them.  One for us and one will hang her tree when it becomes big enough to support it.  We feel so blessed to have had such a wonderful school family.  They truly loved her, as did we.
Here is one version of the legend of the dogwood tree:  "At the time of Crucifixion the dogwood had been the size of the oak and other forest trees. So firm and strong was the tree that it was chosen as the timber for the cross. To be used thus for such a cruel purpose greatly distressed the tree, and Jesus nailed upon it, sensed this.  In His gentle pity for all sorrow and suffering Jesus said to the tree:  "Because of your regret and pity for My suffering, never again shall the dogwood tree grow large enough to be used as a cross. Henceforth it shall be slender and bent and twisted and its blossoms shall be in the form of a cross--two long and two short petals. And in the center of the outer edge of each petal there will be nail prints, brown with rust and stained with red, and in the center of the flower will be a crown of thorns, and all who see it will remember."
What an Amazing Day!!  Thank you God!!  (Also thank you for getting my oldest daughter, son-in-law, and grandbabies here safely!)
TaTa4Now

What a Disappointing Day

Well, I called the hospice place yesterday to see how the hiring process was going.  They now informed me that they want someone with hospice experience!  Are you kidding me?  They have been telling me for three months now that I am "exactly what they are looking for", "we know you would be perfect", etc.  Nowhere in the job ad did it say "hospice experience required."  That is why I applied!  What a let down.  Oh, but she was sure to add, "but we haven't made a decision yet."  Okay, if they can't find anyone else, they might choose me?  I LOVE being leftovers.  I'll do if there's NOTHING else.  Geesh.  So... God, PLEASE show me what you have planned for me.  I'm not feeling so whoopie about myself today. 
Sunday night I thought I "saw" Ashlie peeking around the TV in our bedroom.  All I saw were those bouncing curls... and heard her giggling.  Monday, I heard one of the songs we played at her services, my favorite one, on the radio three times during my commutes to and from work.  It was "I Can Only Imagine" by MercyMe.  If you aren't familiar with the song, its beautiful.  Its a contemporary Christian song.  We played it at my parents funerals too.
TaTa4Now

Another Angel Story?

I am chatting with my oldest daughter on facebook right now.  This is the conversation she overheard her daughter, 2 1/2 years old, "E", who was VERY close to Ashlie, saying:  "Hi Ashee(her word for Ashlie), see frog?"  "E" had put another chair next to hers and kept talking away about school in heaven and she go in airplane with daddy, her daddy serves our country in airplanes, to go to sky to heaven.  Within a few more minutes, "E" told Ashee "she is so excited, she going to Mimi's, my house, in a couple days," which she is coming to visit next weekend.  Then she asked her momma "where Ashee go?"  To which my daugher replied, "she went back to heaven. "  "E" then said "yeah, she went back to heaven on the school bus."  The innocence of children.  Thank you God.
TaTa4Now

News We've Been Waiting to Hear!

We found out today that Ashlie's school is having their little "memorial service" for her next Friday, April 22nd!  We have been anxiously awaiting the day we get to celebrate her life with her schoolmates and school staff.  They are going to plant a tree and we want to release balloons.  We released pastel pink and white balloons at her funeral and I want to release bright colors at her school.  That's all the plans that we know of so far!  I'm so excited, yet a bit anxious too.  I will have to leave work, go to the service, and then go back to work.  This might be a little hard to do.  At least I have about a 30 minute drive back to work.  I have really been enjoying this beautiful weather we have been having, but that also is bittersweet.  Ashlie and I quite often would sit outside on the patio when she came home from school.  She frequently fell asleep while soaking up some sunshine... wonderful memories!
TaTa4Now

Will It Ever Stop?

Every time I look at my favorite picture of Ashlie, I see what she looked like when I found her the dreadful morning that she passed away.  That "tape recording" plays over and over in my head so frequently... will it ever stop?
TaTa4Now

Shared More of Ashlie's Medical Supplies

We were able to share more of Ashlie's medical supplies last night.  Words can't really describe how good it feels to share her supplies.  We also heard from her school yesterday and they are ready to setup the day to celebrate Ashlie!  The entire school will be involved in a ceremonial tree planting at her school!!  We are so excited!  Can't wait to celebrate with the school personnel and friends that she loved so much. 
Still haven't heard about the hospice job yet... aargghh!!
TaTa4Now!

What a Wonderful Day

What a beautiful day!  Its so nice to see the sun shining and listen to the birds chirping.  We met a wonderful family today.  The drove all the way from Iowa to pick-up some medical supplies that they had purchased from us.  We truly enjoyed our conversation with them.  God works in mysterious ways.  We feel blessed today.
TaTa4Now