Yesterday morning I found myself listening to the songs that we chose for Ashlie's services. I haven't done this often. They were very cleansing... but for the first time I think I finally realized that it is true... she is gone. I am not living in a bad dream that someone will come along and wake me up from. I will never get to see that smile, touch her cheek, tame those curls... I allowed myself to cry this time. My husband was at work, youngest son was safely asleep. I had a feeling inside of me that is indescribable... I sat on our couch, eyes closed, listening to the music. I began to feel as if Ashlie was there with me... and that she was telling me "Mom, its okay! Look Momma... I'm happy, I'm really happy! I run and play with everyone... do everything that they can do!" She is spinning around... her curls are bouncing in the wind... and she is off running to play with her new friends.
TaTa4Now
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Reality?
Labels:
bereavement,
burden,
compassion,
death,
emptiness,
faith,
family,
God,
grief,
grief symptoms,
heaven,
help,
loss,
loss of a child,
support
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1 comments:
And remember that feeling of her being around you, go back to that in the toughest of times. You always wanted her to be free, to be better, and now she is. In a weird sick way, God answered your prayers. Doesn't make it easier that he answered them by taking her away from you, but she is free!!
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