9 Years... 9 Long Years Since I Lost My Father

Today marks 9 years since I lost my father at the age of 67.  Really, words can't explain the depth of my feelings of loss.  You see, my Dad was my strength in life.  He was a wonderful role model for myself and my children.  My Dad was a very logical, analytical thinker.  Always thinking through every decision he ever made, which made him very confident in his decisions, as he should have been.  That strength is what I miss most about my Father.  I could go to him and KNOW that I would get a very well thought out opinion for some of life's most difficult decisions.  There is a part of me that is glad that he doesn't have to suffer any more.  Dad was a smoker since he was 14 years old.  He had severe COPD, a lung disease.  He had lost 65%, yes, 65% of his lung capacity.  He was on oxygen 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  Then my Dad would begin to be robbed of his mind by Alzhiemers.  He was ashamed of those days where he would not be able to remember what "butter" was called.  It tore me up to see such a strong man's health and mind decline in such a way.  So, for the fact that he no longer suffers, I am grateful.  But the selfish part of me wishes he was still here with me.  I will forever be grateful for God giving me my Dad's brain, for we both loved our math, researching our interests, completing the task at hand to the best of our ability, and standing firm in our beliefs.  Thank you Dad for everything you gave to me.  Miss you so very much...

TaTa4Now

p.s.  PLEASE don't smoke.  If you are a smoker, PLEASE find a way to quit.  No one should have to suffer like my Dad did.