Don't Know What To Do...

Ugghh... tomorrow is the first year anniversary of losing Ashlie :(  I have thought for several months now that I wanted to get some balloons and release them at her grave.  We released balloons at her funeral service and again when her elementary school had a memorial in her honor.  Today I find myself feeling guilty for wanting to release balloons... feeling like I am celebrating her death.  Guess it's time to pray and ask God to help show me the way.  Seriously though... what AM I supposed to do on the anniversary of her death?  Sit at home and mope?  Keep myself busy and pretend that I'm not broken hearted  (which I'm good at by the way)?  I just don't know what to do...
TaTa4Now