Precious Moment Yesterday

Just a quick reminder, I am a registered nurse and have a 5 year-old patient that I spend 7 hours per day with caring for him in his home.  He is non-verbal.  His parents have housekeepers that are from Brazil and speak minimal english.  My little guy was in his wheelchair and it was just about time for school.  As one of the housekeepers went about her work cleaning various items, he would just bust out laughing with a big belly laugh.  I turned his wheelchair around so that he could see her and watch her.  She would hear him and come over and talk to him.  They did this together over and over again, she just couldn't help herself and kept coming over to talk with him.  They both shared the same handicap, he is unable to speak, and she spoke a different language.  But, they understood each other.  It was absolutely precious to witness.  God is good.
TaTa4Now

Is my Denial finally decreasing?

Well, it's been just over 8 months since Miss Ashlie passed.  I think I have finally stopped "shoving down" my denial of her death.  The true reality is sinking in.  As embarassing as it is, I can no longer, albeit unknowingly, pretend that she "never existed..." or that "it's all okay."  I am allowing myself to grieve... to feel.  Yesterday was my in-laws 50th wedding anniversary, what a wonderful milestone to achieve.  My mother-in-law had designed a beautiful slide show showcasing their lives over the past 50 years.  Inadvertently, she chose a song for some of the pictures that we had chosen to play at Ashlie's funeral services.  Man oh man... that hit me hard.  I probably cried one of the hardest cries that I have cried since she passed away.  In an odd way, it felt good.  Felt good to not "stuff down" my feelings, not that I could have stopped them this time.  Believe me I did try, just couldn't do it that day, that time.  Those rough periods like that take a lot out of me.  I'm exhausted today.  But able to enjoy my memories of her.  We also went to her gravesite as we were in the town where she was buried.  I do wish we could have buried her closer to us, but you do what you have to do in those circumstances.  Thank you God for my strength.  Thank you even more for bringing Ashlie into my life.
TaTa4Now

Good Morning My Beautiful Angel

Good Morning Miss Ashlie!  When I was "just" your nurse, for some reason I found myself calling you Miss Ashlie.  It even rubbed off on your physical therapist, speech therapists, and other school people.  Ashlie, these beautiful days are making me miss our frequent walks on the trail when you got home from school... or when we sat on the patio, talking about school, birdies, flowers, trees, and life.  Momma still miss seeing just what those beautiful curls were going to do each and every morning.  They always kept me guessing!  I haven't gotten your Plumeria lotion out to smell it since you left us, but I sure do miss that smell.  You went to school smelling and looking beautiful!  I miss your beautiful smile.  I just miss my Sweet Pea.
TaTa4Now